"To-Do's before the I Do's"

This summer, as a "have a speedy recovery" gift for my back surgery, my grandmother sent me a cute note pad with the phrase "To-Do's before the I Do's." I've been using this note pad quite a lot in the past months as the wedding approaches. The current To-Do's:

1. Obtain the finalized invitation lists and addresses from both sides of the family. My list is already done. :)
-->Everything that follows on this To Do list depends upon the completion of this item.
2. Create address labels for the invitations and save-the-date envelopes. (Mine are already done.)
3. Create labels for the response cards. This would include the "plus ones" for certain guests.
4. Order save-the-date magnets. We've hit a bit of a snag in our original plan, but I think we're restructuring nicely and should have very lovely save-the-dates.
5. Order wedding invitations, response cards, and thank-you notes.
6. Order the reception favors. I'm not going into specific detail here about what they are because quite a few of my readers are wedding guests, and I don't want to ruin the surprise. :) But, suffice to say, it's a cute gift and not wholly useless.

I've been really enjoying this portion of the wedding planning process. It was a bit touchy in the beginning because there were so many personalities and so many individual tastes and sometimes we'd clash. But I think we've all gotten to a point where we understand how to communicate with one another, and I also think we're easing up a little bit on the necessity of particular details. My motto, which has really helped me gain some perspective, throughout this half of the process has been: "It doesn't matter if X falls through, because at the end of the day Robert and I will be married." There have been a few people to tell me they probably can't come to the wedding, and while I'm disappointed about their prospective absence, the reality is that Robert and I will still be married. This gives me comfort. Otherwise, I'm sure I'd spiral into a depression if I focused on other people and their problems with the wedding plans.

Since the engagement, I've heard from almost everyone, "Enjoy this...it flies by." Well, that's true. But I think the key portion of the advice is to enjoy it because it can be far too easy not to enjoy it. I will be the first to admit that I have a tendency to obsess over details and the perfect execution of plans (part of that whole left-brained, Type A personality), and if there is a threat to the perfection of my plans, then I can become extremely defensive and unhappy. This has already happened a few times in the early half of the wedding planning process, which discouraged me from "enjoying it." What I'm learning is that to really "enjoy it," I need to be willing to let go of some of my "perfect" plans, as well as to understand that flexibility will be the only way to maintain a sense of humor as we approach the wedding day.

Here's my vision for the wedding day: others will be busily rushing around me, putting out small fires, absorbing all the stress of the day. Meanwhile, I will be sitting back and relaxing, focusing all my mental and emotional energy on Robert and our lives together.

I'm not historically good at letting go. I'm learning to let go, which requires a great deal of patience and trust in other people that they'll care enough about the plans to take care of details for me.

Breathing also helps me "enjoy it."