Christmas Day means more than Christmas Day for me now. And it's all because of Robert's proposal. We were engaged the morning of Christmas Day last year, so we celebrated an uncommon anniversary this year. Poor Robert seemed disappointed at first that we have been engaged for over a year and still have five months to go before the wedding. But, I keep reassuring him that, although I'm ready to be married to him as well, we made the smartest decision and will reap the benefits of taking our time. We got the first pick of our date (Memorial Day weekend, an extremely popular date), and we got the first pick of our venues (the only Catholic church in town for the ceremony and the nicest hotel in the area for the reception).
This morning I was reminiscing. This time last year, on December 29th, Robert and I were visiting local family and friends to show off the ring and to celebrate our engagement. He and I went to Johnny Carino's (which has apparently shut down here due to some sort of drug crime or other), had a delicious Italian dinner, and started one of our many future wedding planning talks. In the course of this conversation, we figured out how many people would be in our bridal party, what our preferred dates would be, where we would like the ceremony and reception to be held, and what sorts of "themes" we would prefer. Of course, as we learned, deciding upon the date of your wedding depends entirely upon the availability of your preferred venues. We only have one Catholic church here, and, with me being a born and raised Roman Catholic, it went without saying that I wanted a Catholic ceremony. We made an appointment with the priest after the first of the year (literally the day the church office reopened after the holidays), and we met with him to discuss dates. Robert and I have a lot of out-of-town guests (more than two-thirds), and we wanted to hold our wedding on a long weekend for their sake. Our priest looked at his calendar, we looked at ours, and that's how we decided upon May 23, 2009.
(Funny little factoid: in the course of our conversation this time last year, I had said off-handed, "So, basically, we'll have save-the-dates, too, which will say our date, like May 23, 2009. Ha...wouldn't it be funny if we did get married on May 23rd?" This was before I knew it was a Saturday. And this was before I knew it was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. Neat how those little things work out...it's like I always knew our anniversary would be May 23rd.)
The priest penciled in our names on his calendar but explained that, until the deposit had been received, we were not guaranteed the date. He told us we were the first couple to approach him for this date (a year and a half in advance, mind), so we'd get first dibs, but we'd need to make the deposit soon. That meant that we had to find a reception site fast, too. A few days after our initial meeting, the priest called me and left a message saying, "Hi Amanda, I wanted you to know that I've just spoken to three other couples who are interested in May 23, 2009. Please let me know if you still want this date." I called him back immediately, secured the date, and dashed over there with the deposit. We ran a risk now because we had a church but no reception site, so with bated breath we toured a couple of hotels. Fortunately, these same three couples who were interested in the only Catholic church in town had not yet approached the hotels. We were the first to ask for May 23 at our hotel of choice, secured it a week later with a deposit, and then the entire process began.
When we told our (unmarried) friends that we had our date and venues set, they were humored by how fast we acted. "Why are you doing this a year and a half before the wedding? Aren't you jumping the gun?" Nope. Not when you're getting married in a small town on one of the most popular wedding weekends in the height of wedding season.
So, that said, why not May 24, 2008 (Memorial Day weekend)? Or August 30, 2008 (Labor Day weekend)? Well, we considered these dates. I had a problem with Labor Day weekend for a couple of reasons. The first is that it's only a couple of days after my sister's birthday, and I didn't want to take away from her celebration. The second is that it's at the beginning of the semester, and I wasn't sure how logical it would be to try to move, get married, and begin teaching classes in the same month. Our problem with Memorial Day weekend this year was that it would have only given us five months to plan, and we would likely have not had as nice a wedding as we're having. And we'd probably not be able to pick the venues we did.
Are we tired of waiting for our wedding day to come? Yeah, pretty much. But has it helped us to have so much ample time to plan? Absolutely.
When we returned home after our trip to Breckenridge and Atlanta (which I'll write about later), Robert said, "On our drive back, all I could think about was how tomorrow morning will be the first time in two weeks that I won't get to wake up and see you first thing in the morning." No, we didn't bunk up on our vacation. But we were able to spend our mornings together after crawling out of our beds. The realization hadn't hit me yet and saddened me...but I'm also excited to know that neither of us were annoyed with each other or tired of seeing each other.
Is it May 23, yet? :)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Save-the-date magnets! :D
Three weeks ago, I wrote an entry about how we weren't going to be able to order the save-the-date magnets, and I was devastated (Miniscule things that don't matter...mattering). It was something I had been looking forward to since at least last January when we first saw save-the-date magnets advertised at one of the bridal expos we went to. I was sure it was too late to order them once we had missed the original deadline I had set; all of my mom's wedding planning books said it would be too late.
Well, when Robert and I went to my parents' home for Thanksgiving weekend, we did get a lot of planning done, which included finalizing all guests lists and their addresses. Everyone saw how disappointed I was about not getting these magnets, and somehow it happened that we were able to order them. Now, they don't have the engagement photo on them that we had wanted--our photographer never returned my e-mail asking about how to order the copyright for a photo so we could put it on the save-the-date magnet. So, we went with another design...which I just received in the mail this afternoon. Originally, I wasn't going to open the box until Robert got back from work, but he told me to go ahead...since my head was about to burst from the excitement. As soon as I made sure they looked good, I put mine up on the fridge:
I really love them so much! :) Our theme for the wedding is basically to exploit Spring to its fullest, which means lots of daisies...and because they're my favorite flower. It's a good excuse. :) I really hope I can have a bouquet filled with daisies (likely white tied with a pretty purple satin ribbon). We'll see what we come up with. But I just love the save-the-dates.
They will technically be kind of late, but I know our guests won't be bothered by it. Robert and I are going to get together after he gets out of work to address the envelopes, and then we'll bring them with us to my parents' house on Wednesday. Mom has offered to mail them out and pay for postage, which really helps a lot.
Consider Amanda happy. And more relaxed. Now the next obstacle to tackle are the bridesmaid dress orders. I was going to call the salon yesterday, but I got so caught up in studying that I forgot about it until after they were closed. And they're not open on Mondays. Tomorrow is the last day for the orders to be made, so I'm going to call sometime in the afternoon to check that we've got everyone's orders in. I know a few of my bridesmaids had mailed in checks and are a little concerned that their money was received, so I'm going to check on that for them. It seems like everything is starting to come together! :)
Turns out wedding planning is a lot like grad school. You are given a monumental list of tasks to complete by a seemingly impossible deadline, but miraculously everything comes together and gets done.
Well, when Robert and I went to my parents' home for Thanksgiving weekend, we did get a lot of planning done, which included finalizing all guests lists and their addresses. Everyone saw how disappointed I was about not getting these magnets, and somehow it happened that we were able to order them. Now, they don't have the engagement photo on them that we had wanted--our photographer never returned my e-mail asking about how to order the copyright for a photo so we could put it on the save-the-date magnet. So, we went with another design...which I just received in the mail this afternoon. Originally, I wasn't going to open the box until Robert got back from work, but he told me to go ahead...since my head was about to burst from the excitement. As soon as I made sure they looked good, I put mine up on the fridge:
I really love them so much! :) Our theme for the wedding is basically to exploit Spring to its fullest, which means lots of daisies...and because they're my favorite flower. It's a good excuse. :) I really hope I can have a bouquet filled with daisies (likely white tied with a pretty purple satin ribbon). We'll see what we come up with. But I just love the save-the-dates.
They will technically be kind of late, but I know our guests won't be bothered by it. Robert and I are going to get together after he gets out of work to address the envelopes, and then we'll bring them with us to my parents' house on Wednesday. Mom has offered to mail them out and pay for postage, which really helps a lot.
Consider Amanda happy. And more relaxed. Now the next obstacle to tackle are the bridesmaid dress orders. I was going to call the salon yesterday, but I got so caught up in studying that I forgot about it until after they were closed. And they're not open on Mondays. Tomorrow is the last day for the orders to be made, so I'm going to call sometime in the afternoon to check that we've got everyone's orders in. I know a few of my bridesmaids had mailed in checks and are a little concerned that their money was received, so I'm going to check on that for them. It seems like everything is starting to come together! :)
Turns out wedding planning is a lot like grad school. You are given a monumental list of tasks to complete by a seemingly impossible deadline, but miraculously everything comes together and gets done.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
And in the silence, only buzzing is heard
My cell phone has been ringing off the hook today. And it's no surprise--my day has been fairly busy. After going to bed around 4 a.m., I awoke around 9 a.m., took my shower, packed a lunch and a snack, ate breakfast, packed my study bag full of books, and gathered my necessary bakeware for the French toast casserole I promised Robert I'd make today. I'm making the French toast casserole for an office party he's attending tomorrow morning, but it takes a day to chill in the refrigerator, hence the early preparation. I decided to cook in Robert's duplex for ease of travel (I need, and don't have, a convenient casserole dish carrier). So, I arrived around 10:45 and made the French toast casserole until 11:30. I left, caught the bus, and went to the library for a day of studying.
While on the bus, I decided to call my bridal shop to check on my bridesmaids' dress orders. Just my sister has her ordered so far, which nearly sent me into heart palpitations (dramatic, perhaps, but remember I'm sleep-deprived and reading 300 books in about two months' time). I also got information for my flower girl dress, but was on the bus, so I couldn't check the website like they wanted me to. I made it to the library, texting Robert the whole time to keep him informed on my progress (it's his cousin's daughter who will be the flower girl), and then made it to a computer to check the dress website to verify the order. I called my bridal shop again and placed the official order (well, sort of...she wrote down the style information and Robert's cousin will place the actual order with measurements and deposit). As I was on the phone with them, lo and behold, one of my bridesmaids was in the shop trying on the dress and getting measured! So, now I have two out of seven bridesmaids dresses ordered. I'm still feeling frantic, but slightly less so.
My bridesmaid who ordered her dress while I was on the phone with the shop (which is located about 2 and a half hours away from me, so I can't just hop over easily) texted me immediately to tell me she'd just placed her order. So, I've been receiving excited texts from her (she loves the dress! Yay!) and from Robert as well.
My phone just keeps buzzing.
To be a bride and a student...it's proving to be an exercise in multitasking. Fortunately I have Robert and both our families to support me through it all.
I'm relieved and trying to take it a day at a time.
Although perhaps I should silence my phone just out of courtesy...the buzzing seems to be bothering my fellow grad students.
While on the bus, I decided to call my bridal shop to check on my bridesmaids' dress orders. Just my sister has her ordered so far, which nearly sent me into heart palpitations (dramatic, perhaps, but remember I'm sleep-deprived and reading 300 books in about two months' time). I also got information for my flower girl dress, but was on the bus, so I couldn't check the website like they wanted me to. I made it to the library, texting Robert the whole time to keep him informed on my progress (it's his cousin's daughter who will be the flower girl), and then made it to a computer to check the dress website to verify the order. I called my bridal shop again and placed the official order (well, sort of...she wrote down the style information and Robert's cousin will place the actual order with measurements and deposit). As I was on the phone with them, lo and behold, one of my bridesmaids was in the shop trying on the dress and getting measured! So, now I have two out of seven bridesmaids dresses ordered. I'm still feeling frantic, but slightly less so.
My bridesmaid who ordered her dress while I was on the phone with the shop (which is located about 2 and a half hours away from me, so I can't just hop over easily) texted me immediately to tell me she'd just placed her order. So, I've been receiving excited texts from her (she loves the dress! Yay!) and from Robert as well.
My phone just keeps buzzing.
To be a bride and a student...it's proving to be an exercise in multitasking. Fortunately I have Robert and both our families to support me through it all.
I'm relieved and trying to take it a day at a time.
Although perhaps I should silence my phone just out of courtesy...the buzzing seems to be bothering my fellow grad students.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
And...sidebar
Thursday, Robert and I went to the stationary store and bought our invitations. I'm excited because we should be seeing a proof in about a week. The save-the-date magnets will arrive sometime next week as well.
Also, I am working on passing the responsibilities more fully on to Robert. And, of course, he is not disappointing me. :) I have been so relaxed now that he's taking over some more. I know it's not traditional for the groom to be much involved during the planning process, but Robert has been an equal partner since the very beginning. In fact, aside from my dress shopping, I haven't made a single meeting or decision without him. That fact makes me happy.
And, once again, I'm nearly dissolved into a puddle of relaxation and love for this man. :)
Also, I am working on passing the responsibilities more fully on to Robert. And, of course, he is not disappointing me. :) I have been so relaxed now that he's taking over some more. I know it's not traditional for the groom to be much involved during the planning process, but Robert has been an equal partner since the very beginning. In fact, aside from my dress shopping, I haven't made a single meeting or decision without him. That fact makes me happy.
And, once again, I'm nearly dissolved into a puddle of relaxation and love for this man. :)
My surprisingly special day
This whole weekend was supposed to be annoying and generally bad. But my fiancé did not allow it. Thursday night I went to the library at 6 p.m. and left at 4 a.m., getting to bed at 4:30. I'll likely have a similar schedule tomorrow evening. I canceled Friday's class for the sake of sleeping in (despite the fact that I teach at 2 and 3 p.m.) and in order to get more work done. My plan for this weekend was to finish typing up all my notes on Saturday and take Sunday off. I was preparing to be intellectually exhausted and overstimulated. Here's what Robert ensured happened:
On Friday afternoon, we decided to have dinner together because we hadn't seen each other for an extended amount of time since Sunday evening. I reached my study goals by late Friday afternoon and hit a wall. I took a short power nap and woke up calling Robert to make our dinner plans. I literally wasn't fully awake while we were talking--I think what happened was that I was dreaming about needing to make our plans and then I sort of just barely awoke to find myself calling Robert. He came over and said, "I want to treat you to a nice dinner and drinks because I think you deserve it." It really touched me that he wanted to reward my studying with a nice date. We went out for dinner, drinks, and later to Marble Slab for ice cream...in 30-degree weather, lol. But it was delicious! I had trouble getting to sleep on Friday night, even after taking two Unisom, and ended up going through another couple of books waiting for the Unisom to kick in.
On Saturday, I typed up my notes. Robert wanted me to come over and watch the SEC Championship game, but I wasn't sure that I would get finished with everything in time to take the evening off. Sure enough, knowing I had Robert's full support and compassion, I was able to push forward and complete my goal: reading another seven books and typing all the notes for those books. I went over to the duplex (my future home) to watch the game and hang out with Robert and his friends.
This morning, my surprisingly special day, Robert and I went to his parents' house for breakfast. His mom made scrambled eggs, bacon, and Robert helped her make pancakes. His mother and father had already eaten breakfast, but they had Robert and me over anyway--it just made me feel so good. It's moments like that when I feel excited and blessed to join this family. They've welcomed me in so many ways, and continue to...it just means a lot. After breakfast, Robert and I went to my apartment--earlier in the week, he offered to help decorate for Christmas. In a moment of pure exhaustion (nearly falling asleep on the phone with him), I told him Tuesday night that I wasn't going to put up my Christmas decorations this year. His response was so much stronger than I could have ever anticipated. He truly understands how much I love this holiday and how deeply disappointing it would be for me not to decorate in some way. When I made my little announcement, he responded with, "What? No, babe...you can't not decorate!" I explained to him that I couldn't decorate this year...I'm too tired and too stressed and busy that it just wouldn't make sense to decorate. I wouldn't enjoy it. He replied, "I'm going to come over, and we're going to decorate together." That's all it took. That's all I needed. What's funny is that I didn't even know I needed it because I didn't even think to ask him...but once he made his offer to help me decorate, I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.
So, we parted with his parents for a little while and went back to my apartment. We were going to get back together with them to pick out the family Christmas tree, but in the meantime we ended up not decorating for Christmas but planning the honeymoon instead. It was so much fun! After we picked out the family tree, Robert and I had lunch, and then went to the bookstore to look for travel guides. We came back to my apartment to actually decorate and do some more honeymoon planning. Robert decorated the entire tree while I set out the nativity set (the new one that I got from my parents for Christmas last year--Willow Tree!!) and my Department 56 houses.
My apartment looks like Christmas now because of my wonderful fiancé. My mind and emotions are at peace because of my wonderful fiancé. I feel relaxed and confident and prepared to take on the next week because of my wonderful fiancé.
I guess the secret is out. Amanda loves Robert. ;)
On Friday afternoon, we decided to have dinner together because we hadn't seen each other for an extended amount of time since Sunday evening. I reached my study goals by late Friday afternoon and hit a wall. I took a short power nap and woke up calling Robert to make our dinner plans. I literally wasn't fully awake while we were talking--I think what happened was that I was dreaming about needing to make our plans and then I sort of just barely awoke to find myself calling Robert. He came over and said, "I want to treat you to a nice dinner and drinks because I think you deserve it." It really touched me that he wanted to reward my studying with a nice date. We went out for dinner, drinks, and later to Marble Slab for ice cream...in 30-degree weather, lol. But it was delicious! I had trouble getting to sleep on Friday night, even after taking two Unisom, and ended up going through another couple of books waiting for the Unisom to kick in.
On Saturday, I typed up my notes. Robert wanted me to come over and watch the SEC Championship game, but I wasn't sure that I would get finished with everything in time to take the evening off. Sure enough, knowing I had Robert's full support and compassion, I was able to push forward and complete my goal: reading another seven books and typing all the notes for those books. I went over to the duplex (my future home) to watch the game and hang out with Robert and his friends.
This morning, my surprisingly special day, Robert and I went to his parents' house for breakfast. His mom made scrambled eggs, bacon, and Robert helped her make pancakes. His mother and father had already eaten breakfast, but they had Robert and me over anyway--it just made me feel so good. It's moments like that when I feel excited and blessed to join this family. They've welcomed me in so many ways, and continue to...it just means a lot. After breakfast, Robert and I went to my apartment--earlier in the week, he offered to help decorate for Christmas. In a moment of pure exhaustion (nearly falling asleep on the phone with him), I told him Tuesday night that I wasn't going to put up my Christmas decorations this year. His response was so much stronger than I could have ever anticipated. He truly understands how much I love this holiday and how deeply disappointing it would be for me not to decorate in some way. When I made my little announcement, he responded with, "What? No, babe...you can't not decorate!" I explained to him that I couldn't decorate this year...I'm too tired and too stressed and busy that it just wouldn't make sense to decorate. I wouldn't enjoy it. He replied, "I'm going to come over, and we're going to decorate together." That's all it took. That's all I needed. What's funny is that I didn't even know I needed it because I didn't even think to ask him...but once he made his offer to help me decorate, I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.
So, we parted with his parents for a little while and went back to my apartment. We were going to get back together with them to pick out the family Christmas tree, but in the meantime we ended up not decorating for Christmas but planning the honeymoon instead. It was so much fun! After we picked out the family tree, Robert and I had lunch, and then went to the bookstore to look for travel guides. We came back to my apartment to actually decorate and do some more honeymoon planning. Robert decorated the entire tree while I set out the nativity set (the new one that I got from my parents for Christmas last year--Willow Tree!!) and my Department 56 houses.
My apartment looks like Christmas now because of my wonderful fiancé. My mind and emotions are at peace because of my wonderful fiancé. I feel relaxed and confident and prepared to take on the next week because of my wonderful fiancé.
I guess the secret is out. Amanda loves Robert. ;)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A list serves just as well
1. The holidays were nice because this year we spent Thanksgiving with both families...sort of. We went to Robert's family's house for Thanksgiving day, and then went to my parents' house for the Friday after. I'm glad we were able to spend it the way we did, and I think it'll be very interesting to see how we change our traditions after we're married.
2. We got lots of wedding planning done this weekend, things that needed to be done. We spent five hours at the breakfast table on Sunday morning going over guest lists, invitation particularities, and the wedding day itinerary. My mind is boggled but at least there's a calendar.
3. I graded 60 papers in about four hours, a record. I couldn't sleep on Saturday night because of all the upcoming stress, so I decided that instead of wasting time tossing and turning, it should be put to good use by grading the last 30 papers. I'm glad I got it done because now I just have to do their final exams and I'm done.
4. I have a new study schedule. I'm going to fill my rolling bag (something I bought for use before my back surgery because I couldn't carry heavy bags on my back any more) with as many books as it can carry (generally around ten or eleven), take it to the library or coffee shop and camp out until I've finished the bag. One day, one bag. That's the new rule. There are too many books to read and very little time left. My exams will be in February (written) and March (oral). The February exams are comprised of one major and two minors. The major exam (early English drama to 1642) is four hours long. The two minors (Shakespeare and general drama from antiquity to contemporary) are three hours long apiece. This totals out to ten hours of examination time. The exams are essays.
5. As it is December, I am officially no longer in bride mode (ha...). I am in student mode. I have already begun the process of removing the mantle of responsibility and passing it along to my mom, Robert, and his mom. They'll do fine. The wedding will be fine. In the meantime, I have to try to maintain mental stability through March.
2. We got lots of wedding planning done this weekend, things that needed to be done. We spent five hours at the breakfast table on Sunday morning going over guest lists, invitation particularities, and the wedding day itinerary. My mind is boggled but at least there's a calendar.
3. I graded 60 papers in about four hours, a record. I couldn't sleep on Saturday night because of all the upcoming stress, so I decided that instead of wasting time tossing and turning, it should be put to good use by grading the last 30 papers. I'm glad I got it done because now I just have to do their final exams and I'm done.
4. I have a new study schedule. I'm going to fill my rolling bag (something I bought for use before my back surgery because I couldn't carry heavy bags on my back any more) with as many books as it can carry (generally around ten or eleven), take it to the library or coffee shop and camp out until I've finished the bag. One day, one bag. That's the new rule. There are too many books to read and very little time left. My exams will be in February (written) and March (oral). The February exams are comprised of one major and two minors. The major exam (early English drama to 1642) is four hours long. The two minors (Shakespeare and general drama from antiquity to contemporary) are three hours long apiece. This totals out to ten hours of examination time. The exams are essays.
5. As it is December, I am officially no longer in bride mode (ha...). I am in student mode. I have already begun the process of removing the mantle of responsibility and passing it along to my mom, Robert, and his mom. They'll do fine. The wedding will be fine. In the meantime, I have to try to maintain mental stability through March.
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