Disappointment

I am desperately disappointed in California. How is it right that I get to enjoy the institution of marriage while my homosexual friends (who are in equally committed relationships) cannot? I could cry right now. I've been near tears all day already, just thinking of the possibility.

My only relief comes in knowing that the 18,000 Californian same-sex couples who were married this summer will still be seen as having a valid marriage. Which seems to defeat the purpose of the passing Proposition 8 in the first place, but I won't dispute it now. They can apparently still face legal action which could somehow nullify their marriage, but I hope something like that would never happen.

I just don't understand. People say that they felt the sanctity of marriage was threatened when homosexual couples wanted to marry. How is the sanctity of my marriage threatened by any other couple's marriage? My marriage will be sanctified because of the way Robert and I will regard our marriage. I believe heterosexual couples who marry unprepared or lacking any plan for commitment are the ones who are actually threatening the sanctity of marriage. Why is the divorce rate so high? I know there are legitimate divorces out there; I know that very well. But I also know that there are illegitimate divorces out there. People who simply are bored with each other or who refuse to try to make it work. People who cheat on their faithful, loving spouses threaten the sanctity of marriage. Obviously these are only heterosexual couples, considering homosexuals aren't marrying (or, rather, are marrying but as a fraction of a percent of the entire marrying population).

If we go along with the argument that marriage is for procreation, then should we refuse to allow infertile couples to marry? Or those couples who aren't interested in having children and who would rather focus on their careers? When they say they want to protect the family, what family are they talking about? Robert and I regard each other as family, although we're not yet married. What if we don't have any children and don't end up adopting? Is our marriage less legitimate or less sanctified than a marriage resulting in children? I am obviously confused by the entire argument I've heard conservatives repeatedly exclaim. None of my questions can be satisfactorily answered.

I'm so upset. I felt so hopeful for California because I thought it could mean something for the rest of the country one day. If Robert and I are blessed with children one day, I hope they are granted the right to marry the love of their life, despite what their private parts are.

This makes me sad.