Today's the day! :)

Well, Jack and Robert have managed to inform literally almost all of my friends and associates about this weekend's plans...and yet not a single person has blown the surprise! Some people have sheepishly admitted to coming close to spilling the beans, but I've been effectively kept in the dark. This is quite an accomplishment, considering Jack's been working on these plans for months and months.

Today's plan is this: pack, teach, leave with Robert from the duplex, battle Atlanta traffic, have dinner with Jack! :) As for the rest of the weekend plans, I have a very vague idea of two day trips (one of which requires us to leave at 5:30 in the morning!!!! WHAT??? That's okay, I'll bring Unisom to help me sleep tonight, lol), but other than that, I have no idea what we're doing in specific.

I'm excited and itching to go--I wish I could have canceled class (and probably would have if I hadn't been sick last week) because I really don't feel like teaching today. I just wanna go to Atlanta and play with Jack!

Is it 4:00 yet?

Mixed emotions

My Auntie Ann will be buried on Friday in St. Louis, and I won't be there.  My mom has basically told me I'm not allowed to go (my sister or me) because she doesn't want us missing more class days.  I had to miss Friday because of illness and Monday was canceled because of flash flooding and tornadoes.  I wish I could get closure on her death by attending her funeral...but I suppose it's fair.  I guess.  I'm still feeling dejected about it.

The other emotion in the mix is that of excitement because I'm going to Jack's on Friday with Robert (thank GOD Robert's going to be there, too--I was a little sad at the prospect of not seeing him for yet another weekend).  She's planned this whole Labor Day weekend of activities, and I've yet to solve a single one of her clues.  They're all so cryptic and vague.  One of them is "cotton."  Come on.  "Cotton"??  That could mean anything!  The clues are: Robes, Cotton, Irish, Mud, Cars, Maya, and Birds.  Who knows?  I've stopped attempting to guess and will just go with the flow this weekend.

I know we'll have a good time this weekend, and I am determined not to be sad--Jack worked very hard planning this whole weekend for me for the past few months, and I'm not going to ruin it by being sad.  But I do wish I could have said goodbye to my Auntie Ann.

She wasn't just my grandma's sister.  She was the woman who raised the woman who raised me.  My grandma was often too sick to take care of my mom when she was a little girl.  So, Auntie Ann took care of her.  Auntie Ann sculpted my mom into the woman she is now, and my mom sculpted me into the woman I am now.  We owe a lot to my Auntie Ann...and that's why I'm still very sad and will miss her a great deal.

My Auntie Ann

My dear, sweet, amazing Auntie Ann died this morning at 9 a.m. CDT.

She was the matriarch of my maternal family, and she was the most amazing woman we could have ever hoped to have had in our family.  We didn't deserve her, but she truly enriched all our lives in many ways.

She helped raise my mom and aunts, since my maternal grandma had severe epilepsy.  She always put the children and rest of the family ahead of her own needs, and even was slow to die because she didn't want to leave us in need of anything.

Last night, in a moment of lucidity, she called her children to her bedroom to hug her and told her daughter what outfit she wanted to wear (in burial).  She then slipped into a nonresponsive state and passed away this morning.

She was going to be in our wedding, in my grandma's place, seated in a place of importance and given her own escort and corsage.  Instead, we'll honor her with our tribute candle to our grandparents who have died.

I'm so sad.

But I know she was not robbed of a good life.  She would have turned 91 this year.

I wish I could have said goodbye...I would have told her that I loved her and thanked her for everything she did for my mom.

Goodbye Auntie Ann.  I love you, and will miss you terribly.  Thank you for taking care of my mom when she needed you.

"It's a twista'! It's a twista'!"

Unfortunately, Toto, we're still in Alabama. No magical fairytale place for us.

Last night was not fun. Now, let me preface by explaining I am not a wimp when it comes to storms. I love them, find them fascinating. But when they become dangerous, I'm cautious.

From about 7:30 p.m. to 4:30 a.m., we were under a tornado warning because some had been spotted miles away from my apartment. The wind got so tricky a couple of times that I gathered up the two cats and sat in the bathroom with them until it sounded a little more settled. One of those times was at 7:30, and the other was at 2:15 a.m. (The 2:15 was the hardest one because I had been sound asleep for a few hours.) While we were sitting in the bathroom, I could hear my patio furniture slamming against the back door. It sounded so creepy--as though someone were trying to break in, but I'm on the second floor so that's literally impossible.

Because of my cold, my sinuses are a little sensitive. During the worst of it, my sinuses were killing me! I have a sneaking suspicion it's because of the change in barometric pressure because I'm no longer having any sinus pain. It's not an infection. All sources point to the obvious, here.

I'm still worried about my friend's cat. I know animals are amazing little "meteorologists," so if she were outside during this storm, she was probably capable of getting herself somewhere safe.

What a strange night. I probably would have slept right through it, but I'm signed up for this emergency alert system with my university, so I get called on my cell phone and my land line, as well as receiving e-mails at both of my addresses. So my phones were ringing all night long, which kept waking me up. I'm sleepy! Oh well, at least I'm alive enough to be able to say that I'm sleepy, right? ;)

How to improve your cats' problem solving skills

1. Get a common cold.

2. Go through an entire box of Kleenex.

3. Leave said empty Kleenex box out for the cats to be interested in.

4. Take two realistic-looking mouse toys and place inside the empty Kleenex box in front of the cats.

5. Watch as they attempt to remove the toys.

6. Praise them when they upend the box, improving their chances of scooping out the toys.

7. Cheer them on as they play with their newly retrieved toys with more fervor than if you had just thrown the toys to them yourself.

8. After a few minutes' playing time, take the toys back and return to the Kleenex box.  Repeat.

Hehehehe....  It is actually a real problem in domesticated animals that their brains can go a little...soft...because they are not out in the wild, roaming around, learning "maps" to certain favorite locations, finding meals on their own, etc.  So, it is often encouraged to eke out a little time each day to create a problematic situation that the animal can solve on his or her own.  My girls are little geniuses--they solved the toys-in-the-box problem much faster than I anticipated. ;)

Extra Credit!

Don't help when your cat accidentally turns the box upside down and can only push the box around, hearing the little mouse toys rattling inside.  How on earth will Little Miss Beatrice get herself out of this predicament and save those toys?

Today, I learned...

...about the lengths some people will go to for a scam.

One of my friends here in Auburn has lost her cat this week--rather, maintenance came into her apartment for some work and let her cat get out. This is a very mild-mannered, easy-going kind of cat. There's no reason they would have "needed" to let her out...it's not like she would have been attacking them. Anyway, a bunch of us are upset about this, and we're trying very hard to help her get her little kitty back home. Fortunately, my sister lives in the same apartment complex and is on board for keeping her eyes peeled. They live right off a lake, so if the cat is still near home, she's likely playing with bugs and turtles and the apartment ducks. This is what I hope, anyway.

Anyway, while poking around online to come up with some other solutions for finding the cat (like contacting the humane society here, for instance), I came upon the website Pets911.com--if you're not familiar with it, it's a lost and found site for pets. I was poking around the website, and saw the link "Beware: Lost Pet Scams." Not being that familiar with such a scam, I clicked the link. And what I read there was saddening and disheartening. I mean, I've known for a long time that some horrible people will do anything to take advantage of another person's vulnerability. But to take advantage of a person through their lost pet? That's disgraceful. Here's part of the article (the example scams) from the website:

Known Lost Pet Scams

Please be aware that there are many versions of SPAM circulating the internet. These are just a couple of examples.

1. HELLO,
MY NAME IS PASTOR (MRS) JANET MARK. I AM AN ANIMAL VET AND ALSO ONE OF THE PASTORS OF THE CHRIST EMBASSY CHURCH. FEW DAYS AGO I SAW YOUR MISSING PET ROAMING ABOUT THE STREET AND I HAD TO RESCUE IT FOR KEEPS UNTIL I FINALLY FIND THE RIGHTFUL OWNER SO THAT I GET GIVE IT BACK TO HIM OR HER, BUT RIGHT NOW I AM ON EVANGELISM WORK FOR SOUL REDEMPTION IN BENIN REPUBLIC IN WEST AFRICA, SO BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOUR PET TO BE ALONE AT HOME IN STATE I HAD TO TRAVEL DOWN HERE WITH IT. RIGHT NOW SINCE I FOUND YOU (THE OWNER), I AM HONESTLY WILLING TO RETURN BACK YOUR PET TO YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO PROOF SOME REAL FACTS THAT YOU ARE THE REAL OWNER OF THE PET BY SENDING ANY RECENT PICTURE(S) OF THIS LOVING AND CUTE PET AND YOU MUST ALSO BE ABLE TO TELL ME HIS OR HER NAME AND THE EXACT DAY AND TIME THAT YOUR PET HAD BEEN MISSING. PLEASE YOU MUST ALSO BEAR IN MIND THAT WHEN YOU SATIFY THAT YOU ARE THE REL OWNER OF THSIS BEAUTIFUL PET, ALL SHIPPING AND ANY OTHER TRAVELLING EXPENSES WILL BE INCURED BY YOU.

ONE MORE THING, ARE YOU BORN AGAIN, CO WE ARE IN THE END TIME AND YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO BE ABLE TO MAKE HEAVEN. GOD BLESS YOU AS I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
PASTOR JANET
pastor.janetmark1@live.com

2. From: mike_found.pet202@yahoo.com
Subject: I have your dog with me….
To:

I won’t lie to you i stole this dog….and the reason why i stole is that ..i need help my mum is in Nigeria dieing of cancer ..and i decided to steal it and i know i will found the owner contact info ..so before i release it ..you are going to pay sum of $600…i swear this dogt is with me

If you want have him back today….you will have to send the money to the doctor in Nigeria and you will have to go and send the money through via western union money transfer to this name and address below:

Name: Abiodun Sulaimon Olayemi

Address: 10,Aganran Street Mushin, Lagos Nigeria 23401

And get back to me with the info given to you ..as soon as i confirmed that you have sent out the money ..i will tell you were to go and pick up the dog so get back to me with your phone number ..and when you get to western union ..don’t tell i have your dog with me..so that they can allow you to send the money..tell them you are sending the money to your cousin in Nigeria..okay..and i am not going to hurt your dog..till you get back..from the bank.

3. Hello
I am DONALD RAY am from United States.. But right now am in uk. i Found your dog some Weeks back and i have Tried Tracing the owner but i could not. so i took the dog with me down here to UK for our christian Missioanry assignment because i had no one to Take Care of him. I am an animal dentist,if you need your dog back just send me an email and we shall know how to send your dog to you back I want you to send me Pictures of The Pet to know its actually yours and the location which was lost i need all These to be sure am not sending the puppy to the wrong person,but be advised that you will be incharged for the shiping Fee and other expenses. email me at…… donald_ray2@yahoo.com

THANKS.
DONALD RAY.

Reporting SPAM

1. Yahoo! US contact information is:
Yahoo! Inc.
Phone: (408)- 349-3300
1-800-318-0631
(408)-349-1572
Office Hours 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. PST
http://info.yahoo. com

2. http://spamlinks.net/track-report-addresses.htm#fraud-419.

3. Federal Trade Department at SPAM@UCE.GOV

But there's a punchline, I swear!

Here was my day:

1. I awoke at 6:45 a.m. to get ready for our big day--engagement portrait day! :D I had already gotten my dress, shoes, and other necessities ready to make my morning easier. I planned to bring them to Robert's duplex so that I could change there rather than going back and forth. I showered, did my make-up, straightened my hair for an hour, and dashed out the door at 8:45.

2. Went to get my nails done; the placed opened at 9 a.m. Rather than get my favorite pink and whites (better than acrylics), I opted for the old-fashioned French manicure. I figured the pictures would feature some close-ups of our hands and rings, and I really wanted my nails to look presentable. It took less than an hour to do my nails, so I went next-door and got a cup of Chai since I had skipped breakfast. Called Robert and wanted to hang at the duplex and drop off my stuff.

3. Got to Robert's duplex, left my dress and stuff in the car since my nails were still a little tacky. For about half an hour, we acted as if he wasn't as sick as he really was, and just behaved as though we were going to continue our plans to have our engagement portraits made this afternoon. As I looked at him, though, I realized it wasn't fair to ask him to try to perk up and look healthy and happy for pictures when he obviously wasn't feeling 100%. I told him as much and said, "Let's just cancel." I went to his bedroom to use his computer so I could get our photographer's phone number to call her. I started to cry and waited until I was at least a little under control before finally leaving a message on her voicemail. I then called my hair stylist and canceled my "emergency touch-up" we had scheduled. I cried for a few more minutes, dried my eyes, and went back into the living room with Robert. I sat there for a moment before I started to feel like crying again, and went back into his bedroom. When I was finally under control, I went back to the living room and decided I couldn't sit there much longer. I had to go into the office--I wouldn't cry in the office. So, I got on the bus and went in.

4. I carried on my day as usual, although I did vent to my girl friends about my disappointment. They commiserated with me, and I ultimately felt better. I got back on the bus after 4 p.m. and went back to the duplex, where Robert and I had a little heart-to-heart.

The punchline?

Because the engagement portraits were canceled, I was able to go hang out with my girl friends and watch Project Runway. When I left, I sneezed twelve times in two minutes.

Hahahahahahaha.

Amanda's busy day

Well, to be fair, it IS only 10 a.m., after all. I suppose I should have called it "Amanda's busy morning," but I'm pretty sure my day is only going to pick up after this.

Here's what I've done so far:
1. Started my car, or attempted to. When I got in my car this morning, the battery turned on, but the alternator didn't want to turn. After a quick plea to my car's benevolent spirit, I was successful in starting the car.

2. Took the girls to see Dr. M, their vet. Callie pitched a fit and had the hardest time getting into her carrier that she's ever had in her life. But I got her in. Beatrice was too shocked by Callie's behavior to put up much of a fight in her carrier. Got to the vet, saw Dr. M, and got two clean bills of health! :) They may not look it, but both girls are under 10 pounds, which is perfect. They've both lost a little weight since their last visit, so Dr. M was very happy with that progress. He was amused by Beatrice's little foray with a tiny wasp yesterday (she grabbed it in her paws, sprang back and ran away to lick her foot), but saw no swelling or any allergic reaction. Both girls are getting old enough to start a regular teeth-brushing regimen every night to prevent the need for annual cleanings.

3. Came home and showered. Sliced the back of my upper thigh while shaving. The amount of blood that came from that little slice was astonishing. Meh. So now I have a Band-Aid on the back of my leg...I'm not sure I've ever had to put a Band-Aid there before, come to think of it. It's a little awkward, but not too bad, lol. I just don't want to bleed on my clothes. Speaking of clothes, I have found the cutest outfit for the first day of classes today. I'll look very teacherly.

4. For breakfast, I had a nice bowl of Smart Start maple brown sugar. Although it touts itself as the healthiest cereal, it's not, but it is delicious and is healthier than other options out there. I've got a sweet tooth in the morning, so I'm not much in the mood for savory tastes and will actually feel quite ill if I start my day with a big plate of eggs and bacon. Sometimes these more adult cereals aren't sweet enough to hold my interest, but I was impressed with this particular cereal. I think it'll be a staple. And hopefully will keep me feeling topped-off throughout the day until lunchtime at least! It has these great bunches of grain, which I think should help.

Today is the first day of school!! :) This semester is significant for me because it is the first time I'll step foot on Auburn University soil and NOT have to take classes. I'm only teaching here and studying for my exams. Amanda is a happy girl. Nervous, anxious, yes. But happy and excited to get herself ABD finally (All But Dissertation).

Here's to AY 2008-9! :)

The incredible shrinking bride

I keep marveling at the fact that I'm down a size...that I don't have to shop in Lane Bryant if I don't want to (well, as long as the stores carry up to size 16).  :)  It's strange, though, because the weight doesn't seem to be dropping as quickly as the inches.  I'm going to wager a guess that my muscles are outweighing my fat percentage because my BMI is also decreasing.   When you've gone through the weight loss cycle as many times as I have, you start to learn something about the process as a whole.  These fun facts: sizes drop faster than pounds (at least in the beginning, especially if you're working out to lose weight), water does more for weight loss than anticipated, constant eating of yummy foods (those that increase your energy level rather than detract from it...so fresh fruits rather than potato chips, for instance) kicks up the metabolism into high gear and keeps it going all day.

What's more of a marvel is that I'm enjoying the process this time.  This time, I have Robert with me.  We're already making steps to take care of ourselves and incorporate it in our daily lives, something that will stay with us through our marriage.  I want it to be normal for us to exercise together.  And later when we have children, I want it to be a given that we go for family walks after dinner on nice evenings, that we play in the park on Saturday afternoons.  I want my children to be active and healthy--I want my entire family to be active and healthy.

And in non-weight-loss/health news, I got my hair cut yesterday.  I walked in, sat in the chair, took down my ponytail, and told Amy, "Save me!"  She did.  As of yesterday, my hair looked like a rat's nest on a pretty regular basis.  I'm growing it out so that when I go back to Amy for my wedding hairstyle, she'll have plenty to work with.  It'd been about three months since my last trim, so my hair was very thick, long, and bushy.  Actually...come to think of it, I looked like Hermione Granger.  But Amy rescued me--she grabbed a new photo from her station and said, "Let's try this."  It's long layers (about three, an inch or so apart from each other and very well blended), and a very long bang swept to the side.  She straightened it out and used a hair dryer to bring the ends to a loose curl.  When I saw it, I realized this is what I want to look like for my engagement portraits, but I'm not sure I can reproduce it...until this morning when I saw what I was able to do. :)  She penciled me down for Wednesday afternoon (right after I finish teaching and before the portrait sitting), just in case I need or want a touch-up.  If I don't need to go, I'll just call her and let her know.  I really love this new hair cut--I think it's the best my hair has looked in a long time.

Whether or not I meet my ultimate weight-loss goals by the wedding is not important.  What I'll remember from this year is that this is the year I've made leaps and bounds toward feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Mr. H and Ms. W go to school

Today Robert and I visited the high school he'll be interning at this semester--the only problem is that it's in a different time zone and takes about an hour travel time.  Once we got there, however, I think we both realized that this will be a good fit and worth the trouble.  When we arrived, we walked up to the front door and met a man out front with a shovel in his hand.  Because it's a Saturday afternoon, we weren't sure we'd be permitted to peek inside (to find Robert's classroom, for instance).  The man out front was busy finishing up the landscaping of the front lawn--trimming hedges, digging out dead roots, removing debris from the pathway.  Robert walked up to him, offered his hand, and said, "Hi, I'm Robert H, and I'll be starting an internship here on Monday."  The man offered a smile and said, "Hi, I'm Mr. B.  I'm the principal."  I wasn't expecting that!  Hehehe...immediately I was impressed by this school and its administration.  Mr. B asked Robert who he was interning with this semester, and not only did the principal know his employee but he said, "Oh yeah.  Her classroom is room #1--, which is all the way down the hallway to the right.  The doors on this side of the building are unlocked, if you'd like to go see it."  He knew precisely which room this individual teacher was in--for me, a girl who graduated with over 600 classmates in high school, a principal knowing a teacher's classroom is foreign to me.  Again, I was impressed.  We thanked him, went inside (he returned to his yard work), and poked around the school.

We found the classroom, Media Center, computer lab, and cafeteria.  It was actually quite a great deal of fun.  Something that caught both our attention was that some of the seniors were painting their parking spaces--they were given permission to come out on Saturday and paint something in their entire parking space.  We saw an Irish flag, an emblem of school spirit (they're the eagles, colors red and white), and lots of "Go Class of '09" banners.  They were so cute!  Robert and I are thinking about going to some football games and theatre performances this semester.  I honestly can't wait until he's got his real teaching gig so we can do that kind of thing all the time. :)

After the high school, we came back home and did a little shopping.  I was going to put this all together as a sort of surprise, but it worked out better that we did the shopping together and before school started.  I got him a satchel, an accordion file system, and a lunch box.  He'll be all set for school with these great things. :)

Well, now that we've got him set for school, now I've got to set myself up for school--time to decide which specific readings my students are going to do this semester.  Here goes nothing! ;)

Three is a magic number

Three things I feel good about right now:

1. My 14-year-old Korean tutee

2. My weight loss

3. Robert's concert present to me

1. My 14-year-old Korean tutee

My tutee, we'll call DH, has been in the United States since 2005.  I've been tutoring him, his brother, and his mother since March 2006.  When we first met, he spoke in extremely clipped sentences, preferring to answer with nods, shakes of the head, or shrugs.  Slowly but surely, he's been gaining confidence in his vocabulary, grammar, and syntax to such a degree that he speaks in complete, coherent sentences.  He's self-conscious about his accent now, so we'll occasionally spend time perfecting the sounds "f," "p," "r," and "l" make.  (Something I learned about Korean when I first started tutoring them: "f" and "p" are reversed as phonetic sounds.)

Aside from his own self-consciousness, the boy is making unbelievable strides.  Since this April, we've read three Shakespeare plays together (taking off May and June for my surgery and recovery).  In April, we started with A Midsummer Night's Dream.  The language is typical, but pretty light, and he was somewhat familiar with the plot from a Korean book of popular world stories.  We read it slowly, taking plenty of time to focus on strange language or themes; I explained a great deal of Shakespeare's influences and motivations to him so that he would understand it better.  In July, we read Hamlet.  The language and plot are much more complicated.  Again, he was somewhat familiar with the general story line, but not the details.  This time as we read, I only helped him understand some strange words that he couldn't guess the meaning of, and guided him through sticky points of the plot.  This month, we read Twelfth Night, finishing it this evening.  We paused only a few times to check that he understood the plot well enough (he did).  A moment of happiness for me: when I asked him what he thought of Twelfth Night, he responded, "I really liked it!  That was great!"

He started ninth grade this week, and they're going to read their first Shakespeare play this year...probably Romeo and Juliet.  R&J has nothing on Hamlet and Twelfth Night.  I am so proud of him--he'll be so far ahead of his American classmates, and will hopefully feel confident in Language Arts. :)

2. My weight loss

I went shopping for my engagement portrait outfit yesterday...unfortunately came up empty-handed, but happily discovered that I am officially a size 16, which is one size down from what I was at the outset of this weight-loss journey.  If I could get closet to a 14 by either my bridal shower or my birthday (within a week of each other), I'll be so freaking stoked.  If I don't, I'll still be proud because I know I'm still going to be working hard.

I've been running 2.5 miles four days a week (we're working our way up to five days a week), and I'm feeling very proud of myself.  I hope to get myself up to 3 miles pretty soon.  In addition to various strength training exercises every day, Robert and I have been kicking ass on our abs.  I'm pretty damn proud, actually.

Next week, I'm going to start a new work-out schedule, which includes going to yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10:30-11:30.  I'm going to do my cardio either right before or right after yoga...maybe right after because I get really gross and sweaty--I wouldn't want to be disgusting while trying to be centered, hehe.

3. Robert's concert present to me

Robert went to see Nine Inch Nails in Atlanta with a friend of ours last night.  He had an amazing time and came back with great stories--it sounds like it was an incredible show.  Because I couldn't be there, he bought me a t-shirt that says "Art is Resistance" on the front and has the "NIN" logo on the back.  It's really cute and very "me," so I immediately fell in love with it.  The only hang-up...it's a woman's-cut shirt.  My large-breasted friends understand exactly why that would originally seem like a problem.  Fortunately, he got me an XL (because 'Manda has a pretty large rack).  Right now, it's still kind of tight, but it's not beyond hope.  I think I could fit into it comfortably within the next month.  After I tried it on, I told him that it'll be a "sexy for Robert" t-shirt for now...after I get a little smaller and feel better about my body, it'll be a "sexy but appropriate for everyone" t-shirt, hehehe.  I can't wait to put it in my regular rotation of clothing because it's so completely wonderful! :)

Life is still challenging and will continue to prove challenging in different ways throughout this coming semester (and the rest of our lives, if I'm entirely honest), BUT it's a good life, and I feel very fortunate for everything (and everyone) in my life.

Suspension of disbelief: of text and film

I wondered this summer semester as I taught my students why they struggled to suspend their disbelief when reading works of literature. Have we gotten to such a point that we are capable of this suspension of disbelief only if we see the images flash before our eyes, provided for us by special effects teams rather than by our own imaginations?

How is it that when I read Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" with my students, and attempted to lead a class discussion on uses of disgust as a thematic vehicle, these same students who have likely seen among the goriest of films stared at me blankly and offered only, "well, it wouldn't really happen, so it wasn't that disgusting" as their response? Is it more likely to accept the unbelievable only if it is presented to us on screen?

I'm ashamed by the imagination's laziness and cynicism in later generations.

And one more, less stressed, note...

...to say that I am SO excited for next Wednesday.  Robert and I are going to have our engagement portraits taken next Wednesday evening, which will be the first time we really work with our photographer (aside from a consultation in April).

We're going to have them outdoors, and I hope she'll take them in a sort of posed candid situation...as though she happened to find us out on a date and decided to snap some secret photos.  I want them to be intimate looking.  No, not us making out or anything, but just some little moments like Robert whispering something in my ear...me giving him a peck on the cheek...things like that.

So now Amanda has to get herself ready for a photo shoot.  I'm going to go shopping this week to find a nice-ish little dress to wear (something flattering, modest, and sweet).  This Friday I'll have my hair trimmed, eyebrows waxed, and nails done.  I haven't decided yet how I'll wear my hair on Wednesday, but it'll come to me.  I'm a little concerned about the amount of time I'll have to get ready for the photo shoot--I teach until 4 p.m., and we're supposed to meet her at 5:30.  So I'll probably be getting myself mostly ready before I teach, and then dash home to change and touch-up my hair and make-up, and then head out with Robert.

I really am excited.  I'm a little obsessed with getting pictures of me and Robert these days.  I bought this frame several months ago, with nine windows on it, and I still have three empty windows to fill.  I would like this frame to be a sort of tribute to our relationship before marriage.  The featured photos are as follows: us reading Harry Potter 7 the day after it was released (July '07), Dad's birthday party (August '07), Christmas Eve ('07), two photos from his proposal (that his mom took while he was proposing; '07), and finally one from Robert's birthday weekend when we were on the pontoon boat on the lake (June '08).

I doubt these engagement portraits will be included in this photo frame--I want this to be the photos we take ourselves.  But I can't wait to get the portraits themselves taken because I have a few frames to fill with pretty pictures...including one for my office.  I figure, if Robert and I are going to have a challenging schedule this semester, then at least I can see him on a regular basis in my office.

Just a little note...

...to say I'm worried about this Fall semester, but trying very hard not to be.

I had a serious talk with the mother of my Korean tutees today.  I basically told her, "I don't want to surprise you later this semester or anything, so I'm going to go ahead and warn you today.  I'm worried about this semester."  See, I have round about 300 books to read in a matter of four months, and I wish I could be exaggerating.  My tutoring takes 6 hours a week from me, in near 3-hour chunks.  I'm starting to see time equivalent to pages read, and 6 hours a week is about 3 plays, or at least one book.

I told her that I can't make a final decision yet (whether or not I quit) because the semester hasn't begun yet.  And I'm about to embark on an entirely new semester--I've never not had to go to class, or have a paper to write, or homework to do.  I told her it could be that this semester, because I'm not taking classes, I could actually find the time to tutor and study for my exams.  This might not even be an issue.  But, just in case it becomes one, I don't want her to be surprised by it.

I have promised her that I will not leave them without a potential replacement tutor--I will cull my own resources to give them a few people to choose from (maybe in interview or something).  I've been with this family since Spring '06.  I can't leave them high and dry like that...I love them so much and it kills me to think I might be forced to quit.  But I'm going to try, I really am.

But sometimes a girl has to wonder: where is Albus Dumbledore's Time Turner when you really need one?

Our busy day...and our future marital bed

Oh, today was a trip. My parents came down to visit for the weekend (was Dad's birthday yesterday), and we had a nice time with them. We met for breakfast at Cracker Barrel (our typical breakfasting joint when the parents visit), and bid our goodbyes after delicious meals of too-much Southern food. Robert and I went to visit with a couple of friends before really beginning our day...at about noon.

We had a fun little visit with them as well, brought flowers to the one because she just graduated with her Master's, and chatted them both up about our favorite Olympic sports and athletes. We left much later than we anticipated...close to 2-ish, I think.

Before I continue, a back-story: Robert's maternal grandmother (very recently widowed, which is still a shock to us all) wanted to give to us as a non-purchased wedding gift her entire bedroom suite. This suite includes decades-old wood furniture (a king-size bed, armoire, dual dresser, and nightstands), which are very good quality and quite big in character, hehe.

So, round-about the time we were heading out from our friends' house, we contacted Robert's mom about getting his dad's truck from them to start moving furniture. (His grandmother is about to buy a new bed and needed the old one out.) We got the truck, went to his grandmother's house, loaded up the box springs and mattress (which were all that would fit in the bed of the truck), and transported it to Robert's duplex (with the help of his younger brother). Then, we unloaded the truck, took it back to his grandmother's house, loaded up the frame, headboard, and extra sheets, took it back to the duplex, and unloaded it. Then we loaded Robert's old queen bed into the truck (all pieces fit in one trip, thank goodness), took it to his parents' house, and unloaded it in their basement. Then, we took the truck back to his mom who was stranded at their office before we headed out to Target to buy some king-sized pillows for the new king-sized bed. We ate dinner at Quizno's to refuel, then trekked back to the duplex. We put the king-sized bed together, stretched our backs out on the mattress (it's huuuuuge), and went to eat TCBY as a little "yay, we did it" treat.

It's now going on 11:20, and we're both exhausted.

I'm excited because now our marital bed is in my future home. My only sadness is knowing that now it will be doubly hard to leave the duplex to go back to my apartment because not only am I leaving our future home, but I'll be leaving our marital bed as well.

It's gonna be May soon, right?

They found The Theatre!!! (maybe)

I'm about to do what Robert calls "nerding out," but bear with me.

As a budding Shakespeare scholar, this is a big deal. Archaeologists in London found what they believe to be the original site of The Theatre.
Much ado over Shakespearean theater find

The Theatre was one of the first playhouses that Shakespeare (along with some fellow actors) co-owned. There's a fun story that says that when the lease of the land expired, the actors (who owned the playhouse itself) dismantled The Theatre beam by beam and transferred it down the river Thames, rebuilt it, and renamed it The Globe.

I visited London in May 2004 with a class, and we were able to visit the sites of two of Shakespeare's most important theatres: The Rose and The Globe.


The Rose Theatre (mentioned in the article) original site; behind these doors are the original foundations of the Rose. We had an appointment to see the foundations, but apparently the people we made the arrangements with forgot because the doors were locked. It's a bank now.











The Globe Theatre original site; it's now an apartment building. They outlined the Globe's foundation in the apartment building's pavilion.


The New Globe Theatre; built just blocks away from the original Globe site, both right off the Thames.

Release from torture and a special surprise

My two guys took THE ENTIRE TIME. They didn't need to, but they did. I ended up having to kick them out at 6:30, when the exam was supposed to end. What I literally said was, "Okay, finish up your sentence; the exam is over." When they didn't stop writing, I said, "We're done, guys. Turn in your exams, NOW." That got their attention, they turned in their exams, and walked out the door. Fella who owed me a paper...never said a word to me about it. Here's the kicker: I sent him an e-mail Monday afternoon (the day he supposedly sent me the paper via e-mail), letting him know I hadn't received it yet. He didn't open the e-mail until Tuesday evening (our mail client allows us to see this information), and then he never replied to it. So, he gets a 0 on 20% of his grade, which brings him down SEVERELY. He was an A student. Not so much anymore. I have a strict "no chasing students" policy, and when I e-mailed him to tell him I had not yet received his paper, that was the extent of my chasing goes. It's his grade. If he has a problem with it, he can contest if he really wants to. He shouldn't want to, because I'll automatically win, considering I have records of attempting to reach him.


Well, that's done.

So, I was tired, feeling utterly hypoglycemic (I was actually concerned I'd pass out on the drive home), and annoyed. But when I walked in the door of my apartment, a surprise awaited me! :)

I knew Robert and I were going to go see Pineapple Express, but what I didn't know was that he had cooked us dinner--chicken with rotini, salad, and a glass of pinot grigio. I walked in the door and he's sitting there with two plates of food and two glasses of wine, and all I could do for a full minute was stand there with my mouth wide open. I was so happy that he went through all that effort to feed me and to help make me feel better. Last night was all about mental recovery, hehe...take care of Amanda's tummy and then take care of Amanda's sense of humor.

I'm so at peace right now. Over the past couple of weeks, I felt these little thrills shiver through my body that would usually accompany anxiety. I haven't had that feeling since I walked in the apartment last night. I dreamed that Robert and I were married...and I was so reluctant to wake up. I know our relationship isn't perfect because we're not perfect, but there are times when it sure does come pretty damn close.

I love that man for so many reasons, and especially for how well he takes care of me.

Slow torture

I've been slowly tortured for the past half hour, staring at the same two students, both in the back of the classroom, both looking at each other.  I'm frustrated, irritated, and unbelievably hungry.  One of the two fellows actually owes me a paper, but when (IF!!!) he gives it to me, I'm not sure I'll be so inclined to accept it.  It's more than five days late, which, according to my policy is too late for a paper to be turned in (that's 10 points per day, so even a perfect paper at this point would result in a failure).

Ugh.  I can tell they're both really struggling (stubbornly) with the exam.

Stop torturing me, you two!  Just give up already.  Geez! ><  They're killing me.  They're really killing me.

I can't force them to stop, either.  They technically have until 6:30.  I just have to hold on for another 26 minutes.  *cries*

Unmitigated frustration

The final exam started 25 minutes ago.  I have a student sitting in the back of the room who seems to be extremely interested in what's going on around him...his sight rarely settles on his own paper for more than a matter of seconds.  He did this during the midterm exam, as well.  During the midterm, however, he was apparently concussed and was still under doctor supervision.  I let it slide.  Should his eyes be wandering during this exam as well, two weeks later?

I can't prove he's cheating.  That's where I get the most frustrated.  I don't like being scammed, and I don't like when students do things that are against the Honor Code but when I have no hard proof for it. *groan*

Is it 6:30 yet?

On strike!

Now, I'm usually a pretty big proponent of the "there are no stupid questions" theory, but come ON!  This semester, a number of my students have truly been pushing the limits of that theory (as well as the limits of my patience).  I like to consider myself a caring, compassionate, thoughtful presence in the classroom (as well as formidable in some degree); I'm not necessarily in the business of scaring the pants off my students, but every once in a while I sure would like for them to cut the crap and pay attention to my words.

On Monday I gave a final exam review session.  The potential was great: we were all present (save for two students), all had notes from the entire semester, all had review sheets partially filled out.  It should have been a walk in the park, really.  What happened on Monday, however, was far from its potential.

"Do we have to write essays for this exam?"

This is a dumb question because on the review sheet (which I had gone over) were the essay topics they had to write about.  What this question is really asking is, "Couldn't you please skip the essay portion of the exam and let us go without it?"

"Could you narrow down the works that the passages are going to be from?"

This is likewise a dumb question.  Primarily because it is asking for me to tell them not just how to study for the exam (which I've already done) but because it's asking me to tell them what precisely will be asked on the exam.  My answer was, "No."  There was a follow-up question.

"Well, but, if you don't narrow down the passage options for us, then, that's like...thousands of pages that we have to reread and study over.  Are you sure you can't narrow it down for us?"

I didn't entertain this question with more than a frustrated eye-roll and moved on to the next.

"Do you think you can change the format of the exam so that we have a wider selection and fewer to choose?  So, like, instead of having to choose five passages out of eight to identify, couldn't you give us, like, ten, and ask us to identify, like, three?"

No.  I couldn't.  This is college.  Come on.

Exasperated, I asked them if they had any questions about the review, any works that were giving them some difficulty.  Crickets.

Fine.  Review: wasted.

Between Monday and today (Wednesday), I had more stupid e-mailed questions from my students.  After I got a question about whether or not the first-person narrator should be called by the author's name (to which I responded, "no") with a follow-up of "well, then, what do I call the nameless narrator," I decided that I'm on strike.  No more stupid student e-mails for the rest of this semester.  Which ends in a matter of hours after my students take their exam.

So there.

Strike!

A meltdown and appreciation

Last night I melted down. Like, full-on fell to pieces, collapsed into a puddle, wracked with sobs. I'll start with why I melted down and move on to the appreciation portion of the title.

The Meltdown
After teaching the final class of the semester, I was stuck in my office for an additional two hours, hammering out the last details of the final exams. (Two different types of final exams: the first was the true final exam; the second was the early final exam, given to some students this afternoon.) I had not eaten all day, and now I was trying to make important, thoughtful changes at 5 in the evening. I called Robert on the way out the door, and we agreed that I should go home, eat, collapse for a little while, and then go over to the duplex to hang out with him and Mr. Milton (Robert's dog). Yesterday was too stressful to go to the gym, unfortunately...though, now that I think back on it, it could have had something to do with the fact that I hadn't had a bite to eat until 5:30 p.m. Robert didn't like the idea of me going to the gym either on a completely empty stomach or on a newly full stomach. Both scenarios seemed to end in puking. So, I went straight home, ate some dinner, relaxed for a couple hours, then went over to Robert's. (I stopped by Bruster's to get a couple little cups of ice cream as a treat for the end of the semester and brought them over.)

Our evening started out well enough--I came over, cuddled with Robert on the couch, felt completely at peace, and relaxed while we watched The Simpsons Movie. Maybe it was the comfort of being with Robert that relaxed me enough to actually have the meltdown. It was like my stress-relief valve had been opened. The meltdown occurred after the movie...we were doing okay...until Ms. Amanda started to fall apart. Poor Robert was trying to remind me that the horrible semester was over, but all I needed at that time was just to release all the stress I'd been under (compounded over a five-week period) through tears. He understood that and started to change his plan of attack--more "go ahead and cry" and less "it's okay because it's over." I melted down because of the semester ending, and I melted down (as I always do) because the next semester is right around the corner. This semester is going to test my fortitude in more ways than I can possibly anticipate. Robert will need me to be strong and be someone he can lean on (just as he's been for me lately), and I'm terrified that I'll prove to be chalk rather than granite. I don't want to crumble at the slightest pressure, and I'm scared I will. But I'm going to try very hard to be anticipatory of and responsive to Robert's needs.

Appreciation
I'm consistently and constantly humbled by how Robert understands and responds to my needs. No, he's not always perfect. Who'd want perfect anyway? But even when he's not perfect, he's still willing to listen to me and do the very best he can to provide what I need. I cannot describe how much it means to me to know that I have someone who not only understands that I melt down at the beginning of every semester, but who's also patient through my meltdowns and willing to be there to comfort and reassure me. At one point I sobbed, "I can't believe I do this every semester! This is so stupid!" And Robert sort of chuckled, hugged me, and said, "Baby, then how can you be surprised when it happens every semester?" I cried a little more at that because I felt bad because I was afraid it'd eventually get old and annoying. But now that I replay the remark in my mind, I understand what's behind it. Because I'm consistent in how I respond to stress (tears), then at least I'm not throwing Robert any curve balls. And he's getting increasingly better at knowing how best to respond to my meltdowns. I think the first one I threw at him, he was a little confused...but now he at least expects them to happen. I still don't know how I feel about that little fact. I suppose part of me is embarrassed that my meltdowns can be easily scheduled. But my embarrassment cannot overshadow the appreciation I have for my comforting support system. I needed to be held together last night, and that's precisely what he did.

Can you tell that I'm entirely in love with him?

Everything's going to end up being okay (challenging, but okay) because Robert says so. And I trust him.

The completion of semesters

When a semester ends, life always seems to go a little topsy-turvy. This semester in particular has been challenging, and how suitable that the end should likewise be a challenge. If my schedule had gone according to plan, I would have finished teaching on Friday and today would solely be a review day for their final exam (which is Wednesday evening; Tuesday afternoon for some). I canceled class once this semester for a very good reason--one of my best friends came to visit on the only day of the week she could before heading back home in North Carolina. Because I canceled class the one time, the rest of my schedule shifted forward a day. So, today is my final day of teaching rather than Friday.

As ever, I'm tired. I have to tutor in about an hour for a three hour stretch, and I am exhausted...I'm afraid I'll fall asleep during the sessions, but I'll try not to.

Saturday was a horrible day--because everything took longer than I wanted it to, I missed out on going up to the lake with Robert and our friends. But, Robert surprised me by coming to visit me when he got back Saturday evening, which I both needed and appreciated.

This semester will be finished at 2:45 this afternoon. Then I can relax a little more until August 17th...the day before fall semester begins. I'm not as anxious about teaching this Fall because I'm simply going to recycle my old lessons from last Spring to make it easier on me. I have exams to study for in addition to teaching, so this one time studying must take priority over teaching. My students would understand if I felt so inclined to divulge that to them...which I'll likely not.


On to the final day of the semester!

Okay Cinderella

Today is the Horrible Day. (Or at least the so-called Horrible Day...so-called in my head....) Today I am grading all of my students' papers in one shot, sans comments, but still grading them all. I hate grading. Always have. It isn't as easy as slapping a grade on a paper based on what you think it sort of kind of seems like. There has to be consideration and defense for the grade given, so that if a student wants to challenge the grade, I know the specific reason for my grades. It just takes so long, and most of the time the papers are mind-numbing. Part of me wonders if higher-level English classes would be more easily graded...I have noticed that these World Literature papers are easier to get through than my freshman Composition papers. There aren't as many ridiculous issues...but there are a different set of ridiculous issues, to be sure.

I'm also jealous because Robert is going up to the lake with a bunch of our friends. :( We're hoping I'll be able to make it up there if I can get enough of a headway on my work...but I'm not completely positive it'll happen. I wanna go to the lake, too! :( But Robert promised that he and I will have a private weekend up there sometime before summer ends...and that makes me happy.

*sigh*

Okay! So, today's plan of action is:
1. Get laundry going
2. Grade 12 papers
3. Eat lunch
4. Grade 12 papers
5. Eat dinner
6. Grade remaining quizzes
7. Total up their 90% end-of-semester grades
8. Finish writing up the final exams, if possible

Tomorrow's plan of action is:
1. Really finish writing up the final exams
2. Read Death and the King's Horseman, and lesson plan for Monday
3. Play with and have dinner with Robert and company

Almost done, almost done, almost done. I just have to push through the last few days, and then I can relax...until a couple weeks later when the Fall semester begins.

But at least with the beginning of Fall semester brings Labor Day--and I'm still completely stoked about what Jack has planned for me. :)

Grown-up Cinnamon Toast Crunch and an Infestation

Weird combination for a title, I know, but stick with me.

I recently had seen a commercial for Total's Cinnamon...something or other cereal. Basically, it's like a grown-up version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That was one of my favorite cereals when I was a little girl; I'm excited there's a "healthy" version now for adults. (I say "healthy" because it's 230 calories with milk--190 without.) It's pretty yummy...not as sugary as the kids' cereal, but still very delicious. I might have just found a new breakfast item.

As for the infestation, I have killed about five earwigs since midnight last night. Gross gross gross. I was changing the sheets on my bed, and found TWO earwigs on my bed. Then, Beatrice started tracking another one this morning...I watched her watch it for about ten minutes, as it traipsed around the living room. She finally had it trapped out in the open, so I killed it just now. Ugh. I hate bugs, especially earwigs...even their name is horrible. Before Lauren and I knew what they were, we just called them "devil bugs" because they're so difficult to kill and they have a forked butt. Gross gross gross.

Moving on.

I accomplished most of the tasks I set out to accomplish yesterday. I have not yet read for class, but I decided that they're going to do some sort of in-class writing, and then I'll dismiss early. My students have checked out this semester, they have a paper due tomorrow, and I myself am tired. It's too bad that Faust is the text to suffer the lack of complete attention, but I don't know if I have the energy in me anymore to fight for it.

Now this weekend is going to be tough--grading papers and writing the final exams, not to mention still reading for class on Monday. The paper-grading is the worst of it.

Time to clench my fists, put my head down, and soldier through.