Final entry :)

Happily, this will be my final entry. Today is our rehearsal day, and after I have gotten myself ready, I will not be home long enough to write a new blog.

For at least the past week or so, everyone has been asking me if I'm ready, getting excited, or getting nervous. For the past week or so, my answer has usually been to smile and say, "I'm very excited." What I noticed, however, is a look of disappointment on their faces because my answer was a lot more low-key than perhaps they had expected from me. I wasn't jumping off the walls and being hyperactive with my excitement. It's a different kind of excitement. It's more of a feeling of, "Finally, everyone will get to hear what Robert and I have always been saying to each other privately." I am overwhelmed with happiness and calmness.

Robert and I are amazed at how unreal all of this feels. It's not even surreal...just simply unreal. I mentioned it to him the other day, and he seemed relieved that I, too, haven't quite grasped the reality of what's happening tomorrow. This morning, however, I awoke to the following text message:

"I figured out why none of this feels real yet: I already knew that I will spend the rest of my life with you. I can't imagine it any other way. This weekend--while awesome--is kinda a formality, you know? I pledged myself to you a long time ago...we have always been partners. I love you sweetheart. I'll see you later this afternoon."

And he's right. :)

Robert and I have been making vows and holding ourselves to them for almost an entire two years. I'll admit that the beginning of our relationship was focused a great deal on having fun and enjoying ourselves. But as we fell in love and were able to identify it, we started making these little pledges along the way. We've said for a while that we feel as though in our hearts we are already married. Tomorrow, we make it public and legal. Unfortunately a clandestine marriage just simply isn't how our society (not to mention the Catholic Church) acknowledges the validity of most people's unions. So, we are happy to comply with the norms and expectations of our society and my religion.

Tomorrow we'll stand in front of everyone we love and who love us and say to each other everything we've been saying all along. We'll make our private promises public, and that's what counts most. Now we invite our friends and families to hold us accountable to our promises, which adds a great deal more weight and significance to the vows.

I couldn't be any happier than I am in this moment right now, on the cusp of marrying the love of my life and my very best friend.

I love you, Robert! :)

And for my readers, just a friendly reminder, this is the final entry for Bride-in-Training. Come back after June 4th for the unveiling of my new blog: "A. Hab: A blog in the pursuit of happiness, personal growth, and love": http://a-hab-09.blogspot.com/.

Thanks for reading this blog and following me in my training. :) It's now time for my real world to begin!