I have a number of important topics to discuss, but little time this morning. So, I'm going to jot down a brief list of them to expand when I have a longer moment.
1. The surprise trip to Disney World! Highlights: discovering the surprise, Sal Grosso, flight, parks (Animal Kingdom, Epcot--evil Parisians and roller coasters, Magic Kingdom), and resort stuff.
2. Family stuff: deaths in general, lack of support in particular
3. School stuff: fear, frustration, needing a hard core and unforgiving schedule
4. Teaching stuff: frustration, what I'm learning about myself
That's...about it for now. Quite a lot to update on, so expect several updates a day for a little while just so I don't have novel-length blog posts that are hard to read.
Something entertaining before I end this, though. I went to bed pretty upset last night, so upset that I basically had to hang up with Robert quickly because I couldn't really pull myself together enough to maintain a normal conversation. My eyes are baggy now because of all the crying. But, I promised something entertaining. Because of how upset I was when I fell asleep, my dreams were very bizarre. Right now, I can't really remember every detail, but the two highlights of my dreams were that I was pregnant and there was a huge tornado. Both dreams were connected through the "fact" that I was pregnant.
Pregnancy dream: Robert and I were visiting my parents, and I just couldn't shake this nausea. So, I went to the doctor who performed a pregnancy test on me (although I tried to assure him that it was quite impossible because I take birth control). Sure enough: pregnant. In the dream, Robert and I were still engaged rather than married...so imagine how shocked and freaked out we were at the prospect of having to inform both sets of parents. We told our friends first who were very excited and supportive. The dream changed just as we were sitting down with my parents to break the news to them, so I don't know how that turned out, thank goodness. One line I remember saying to Robert: "Well, that explains why I've been having difficulty losing weight." Lol. Suuuure.
Tornado dream: We were now on our way to tell Robert's parents, but we took a little detour up to Gainesville, GA to visit some of our friends (and to get a little more support before we had to face a second set of parents). While we were refeuling after our visit with our friends, we noticed how nice the weather was. But it suddenly changed and in the distance I saw a cluster of clouds that started to swirl around into a gigantic funnel. I grabbed Robert's arm and said, "Is that a tornado?" As I was asking, it grew, picked up speed and strength, and darkened in color. I ran inside the gas station and told everyone to get inside the interior offices. These two little girls were crying and clung to me, asking me where they should go because they lost their parents. Goodness. I woke up just as I was telling them to stay with my sister (who had suddenly appeared there) and wrap their arms around something stable.
I woke up with difficulty, stared out the window for a while before putting my hand on my stomach and checking. Lol, checking. Come on, Amanda. No way am I pregnant. Thank goodness. But sometimes those dreams can just be so convincing.
Time to get myself out of this funk and go teach Sapphic poetry. Here's hoping for a little maturity from my students today.
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2 comments:
Whoa! Can't wait to read all of your updates.
I've been having really vivid dreams too. I had this crazy one about vampires. I woke up and had to pee but I was scared to get out of bed.
It's so crazy when you wake up from a dream like that because it takes a while to remember that they aren't real.
Hang in there!
Tornadoes in dreams are often indication of tumultuous relationships with those closest to you, family disagreements, etc. Because tornadoes are destructive and uncontrollable, dreams with tornadoes in them are merely your subconscious "addressing" issues of which you have no control (e.g. family).
Pregnancy, on the other hand, is an indication of a variety of things. Sometimes people who are pregnant and don't know it get the dream (not you), and the other aspect is that you are evolving and growing as a person though it may be with things you don't want to or don't know yet to address.
Just my $0.02 on the subject matter because both dreams make crystal clear sense to me.
Look at one of your updates "Death in the family. Lack of support" = Tornado.
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